Glory to Sigmar!
Following up on our previous decapitation of Vordekai, our five heroes gathered their forces for further adventures in the tomb.
After much discussion, Josephine gathered the leaderless Varnhold townsfolk and shepherded them to the exit.
Returning to the shrine room the heroes then attempted to solve the riddle of the double doors. Lamps were lit, barbarians were bled, leering columns were unstripped, but all to no effect. Impatiently, the smug Elf then stepped forward and threw open the double doors with a “aren’t I just the smartest kid in the room” smirk on his face. Instantly, freezing black flames exploded from the twin altars blowing the party back, wounding all and nearly killing some. Many tricks were tried to extinguish the flames which eventually expired of their own accord.
The party then proceeded to the open doorway, triggering the trap a second time and thoroughly blasting themselves again for good measure in classic Hammerzeit style. The barbarian bravely threw himself through the doorway followed by the others. Verbot shielded his way with Tartuk’s hide. The Elf healed the party again, discovering how Josephine had made it to 4th level in the process, the cheap hussy.
The next room contained a collapsed stairwell to the upper levels and a further doorway. A dressing room for modest cyclopses. Suddenly, a freakishly moist and demonic voice leapt into the adventurers heads beckoning them forward into the next room. With a 1 on the power die, all agreed it was a fine time to proceed into danger and so they did.
In the next room a 14 foot tall sushi monstrosity took from out of the ether. Part lobster, part octopus, all demon love. Much gloating ensued on the part of the DM. Something about the ceiling was described and duly ignored. Heedless, the party charged in and attacked. After much ineffective flailing about and cursing, the party’s resident Chinaman slid under the lobster’s legs to administer a crippling ball strike, making an important biological discovery in the process. Lobsters have no balls. Or at least not on the outside.
A long and informative exposition then ensued on the details of cephalopod spermatozoa by our resident expert on the subject.
Back in the room the Barbarian kept shouting something stupid about the ceiling and smashing his head into the stone pillars. The heroes ignored him, though it did don on them that they were surely about to be killed by the demon. The barbarian finally managed to knock one pillar down, partially collapsing the ceiling on the creature and themselves as the Elf, Chinaman and Verbot retreated.
- Note ** The following melee round sets an all time record in the annals Hammerzeit history.
The Barbarian and Brewmaster being the only heroes left in the room facing the enraged demon, the Dwarf bravely proceeded to play dead while the demon methodically snipped the Barbarian into tiny pieces, achieving a total of NEGATIVE SIXTY hit points.
The following round the heroes healed Bjorngina and successfully retreated from the room using a Dust spell. The beast charged the heroes but hit the limits of its summoning circle revealing its entrapment.
At this point the narrative became fairly confused. The Barbarian lost his mind as the spirit of Khorne took him – “DEATH! DEATH!” was all he could shout. The Elf kept yelling something about the righteousness of throwing “villager jars” into the room as holy distraction while the others called them idiots.
Ultimately, with an elven rope tied around his waist, the Barbarian sprinted back into the room knocking down the final pillar and collapsing the remaining ceiling of the chamber on himself and the creature, killing himself a second time.
At this point the party rushed in and brought him back to health, doing battle with the lobsterman again.
In the mean time, Dik had barged into the next room discovering the missing Centaur lady badly wounded, and a wicked whip. Returning to the battle he whipped the beast’s leg distracting it while the party retreaded again beyond the room.
With the third time being the charm, the party rushed in and surrounded the beast again. Verbot dispatched it with a blow from his mighty flail. Rejoicing ensued and 5,000 XP was distributed unfairly as usual.
Dik found a magical something-mumble-mumble in the prison room, deftly pocketing it.
The party recovered a demon claw and vordekai’s head as trophies. The villagers elected to return to Varnhold. The hero’s returned the Centaur to her people, and asked them to watch over Varnhold for 3 years. The party then used the Portal to return to Restov, where the gods of fate proceeded to screw over Verbot, stealing all this gold ($5k), and shower bonuses on the Brewmaster and Barbarian. Bjorngina leveled up.
The party returned by road to Hammerzeit which had not fared well in their absence. Allold had barely survived an assassination attempt. Jhod meanwhile was flourishing.
Thus is the chronicle. All Glory to Sigmar.